100 Questions Before Nikah: Muslim Marriage Compatibility Test (Plus 10 You Won't Find Elsewhere)

Quick answer

The original 100 questions before nikah framework was developed by Imam Mohamed Magid and Salma Elkadi Abugideiri in their 2014 book "Before You Tie the Knot." It covers 10 dimensions: deen, family, finance, communication, children, health, career, intimacy, wali, and life vision. This article translates the full framework into English and adds 10 Zawji-specific questions you won't find in the original — designed for modern halal matchmaking platforms. Free PDF download available below.

Why the right questions matter

Most marriages don't fail from lack of love. They fail from lack of alignment. Two practicing Muslims can be wonderful people individually but incompatible on the daily-life realities that nikah involves.

The 100-questions framework — developed by Imam Mohamed Magid (former president of ISNA, leading American Muslim scholar) and Salma Elkadi Abugideiri — exists exactly to surface those realities BEFORE the nikah, not after.

Translated and extended here for global Muslim audiences. Use it.

The 10 dimensions

Compatibility lives in 10 areas. Strong alignment in deen + life vision can carry you through misalignment in smaller dimensions. But major misalignment in any of these 10 typically surfaces as conflict.

1. Deen & spiritual practice — How do you actually practice? Not "are you religious," but specific behaviors.
2. Family & origin — Your family of origin shapes your expectations of family of marriage.
3. Finance & lifestyle — The leading cause of marital conflict globally.
4. Communication & conflict — How do you handle disagreement?
5. Children & parenting — Number, timing, approach.
6. Health & lifestyle — Physical, mental, habits.
7. Career & ambitions — What you want to build in this dunya.
8. Intimacy & boundaries — Discussed before nikah, lived after.
9. Wali & extended family — The relationships beyond just you two.
10. Life vision & retirement — Where you see yourselves in 20+ years.

Dimension 1: Deen & spiritual practice (10 questions)

1. What does your daily salah practice actually look like? (Not "do you pray" — describe a typical day.)
2. Do you fast Ramadan? Any voluntary fasts (Mondays/Thursdays, Ashura, Arafah)?
3. What is your Quran routine — recitation, memorization, study?
4. Which scholars, teachers, or community do you take knowledge from? Which madhab do you follow, if any?
5. What's your stance on issues where Islam differs from mainstream culture (e.g., interest-based loans, mixed-gender environments, music)?
6. What kind of Islamic environment do you want in our home?
7. How do you handle disagreement on Islamic practice between you and family/friends?
8. Have you done hajj or plan to? When?
9. What do you struggle with most in your deen, and what are you working on?
10. How important is it to you that your spouse grows spiritually with you?

Dimension 2: Family & origin (10 questions)

1. Describe your relationship with your parents (close/distant/complicated).
2. Are your parents still married? If divorced, how did that shape your view of marriage?
3. How involved would you want your parents in our daily life after marriage?
4. Where do you expect to live geographically? Close to your parents? Mine?
5. How do you handle disagreements with your parents about your spouse?
6. Are there cultural expectations from your family I should know about?
7. Do you have siblings? Describe your relationships with them.
8. Has anyone in your family had a difficult divorce or remarriage? How did that affect you?
9. What family traditions are important to you that you'd want to continue?
10. How do you envision spending Eids, Ramadan, family gatherings?

Dimension 3: Finance & lifestyle (10 questions)

1. How do you currently manage your money? (Budgeting style, saving rate.)
2. What are your current debts (student loans, credit cards, mortgages)?
3. How do you see us managing money after marriage — joint, separate, hybrid?
4. What's your approach to lifestyle spending (cars, vacations, eating out)?
5. Do you give zakat regularly? Sadaqa beyond that?
6. What's your stance on interest-based loans (mortgages, student loans in the West)?
7. How do you see careers + income evolving over our marriage?
8. If we have children, what changes financially?
9. What financial goals do you have for the next 5 years?
10. Are there family financial obligations (parents, siblings) you carry or expect to?

Dimension 4: Communication & conflict (10 questions)

1. How do you handle disagreement? (Stonewall? Argue? Shut down? Discuss calmly?)
2. When was the last time you were genuinely angry? How did you handle it?
3. How do you respond when feeling criticized?
4. How do you express affection — words, actions, gifts, time, touch?
5. If we disagree on something significant, what would mediation look like?
6. Have you ever been in counseling/therapy? What did you learn?
7. How comfortable are you with silence vs constant conversation?
8. What's your conflict-resolution style — addressing immediately or sleeping on it?
9. How do you give and receive feedback?
10. If our marriage has serious problems, what's our path? (Counselor? Family? Imam?)

Dimension 5: Children & parenting (10 questions)

1. Do you want children? How many?
2. When do you envision starting? Immediately after nikah, or after a delay?
3. How would we raise children Islamically — homeschooling, Islamic school, regular school + supplementary?
4. What language(s) do you want spoken at home?
5. How do you envision dividing parenting responsibilities?
6. What's your stance on discipline (mild, firm, never physical, etc.)?
7. If we have difficulty conceiving, are we open to adoption, IVF, alternatives?
8. How do you see extended family's role in raising our children?
9. Are there specific values you want to instill that your parents didn't?
10. How important is it that our children speak the heritage language(s)?

Dimension 6: Health & lifestyle (10 questions)

1. Are there any health conditions (chronic, mental, hereditary) I should know about?
2. Is there mental health history in your immediate family?
3. What's your relationship with food? Any disorders, restrictions, philosophies?
4. Exercise — do you have a routine? Important to you?
5. Sleep habits — early bird, night owl, varies?
6. Substance use — alcohol (any), tobacco, vape, recreational drugs (past or present)?
7. Are you on any long-term medications I should know about?
8. Have you been to a doctor recently? When did you last have a physical?
9. How do you handle illness — get checked early, push through, dismiss it?
10. Are you open to genetic screening before children (especially for hereditary conditions)?

Dimension 7: Career & ambitions (10 questions)

1. What does your career look like in 5 years? 10 years?
2. Are you open to relocating for my career? Would you expect me to relocate for yours?
3. How important is career to your identity?
4. If we have children, how do you envision work/childcare division?
5. Do you have side projects, hobbies, business ambitions outside main job?
6. What would make you feel professionally fulfilled in 5 years?
7. If I made significantly more (or less) than you, how would you feel?
8. Do you ever want to pause work — for children, sabbatical, Islamic study?
9. Have you considered moving to a Muslim-majority country at any point?
10. What does "success" mean to you, outside money?

Dimension 8: Intimacy & boundaries (10 questions — discussed via wali for very sensitive topics)

1. What are your expectations around physical affection daily?
2. How do you envision balancing intimacy with privacy/modesty?
3. Are there any topics around intimacy that are uncomfortable for you to discuss?
4. How do we navigate intimacy + religious obligations (fasting, menstruation, travel)?
5. What's your stance on contraception within marriage?
6. How do you want us to handle disagreements specifically about intimacy?
7. How important is verbal affirmation in our daily life?
8. What's your love language — words, acts, time, touch, gifts?
9. How do you handle stress — does intimacy/closeness increase or decrease?
10. What does emotional intimacy look like for you?

Note: Questions 71-80 are often discussed AFTER nikah or in late sittnings with appropriate boundaries. Some are best discussed with a married female elder/imam, not directly with the prospective spouse in early phases.

Dimension 9: Wali & extended family (10 questions)

1. Who is your wali, and what's your relationship with him?
2. How involved will your wali be in our marriage long-term?
3. How do you handle disagreement between your spouse and your family?
4. Are there family members who might disapprove of our marriage? Why?
5. How would we navigate family events on each side?
6. If your family asks for financial help, what's our approach?
7. If my family asks for financial help, what's your approach?
8. How do we handle in-law visits — frequency, duration, expectations?
9. Are there family conflicts I should know about (current or historical)?
10. What's your stance on living with extended family at any point?

Dimension 10: Life vision & retirement (10 questions)

1. Where do you see yourselves living in 10 years? 20?
2. Do you envision retiring to a Muslim-majority country?
3. What kind of life are we building — career-driven, family-centered, dawah-focused?
4. How do you want to grow spiritually together over decades?
5. Are there causes or charities you want to support significantly?
6. How important is community involvement (mosque, organization) long-term?
7. What does a "successful 50-year marriage" look like to you?
8. How do you envision aging — independently, with children, in a community?
9. What's something you've always wanted to do but never have?
10. If we have just one chance to do something meaningful together, what would it be?

The 10 Zawji-original questions (you won't find these elsewhere)

These ten are unique to halal-matchmaking-platform-era marriage — addressing realities the 2014 Magid framework couldn't anticipate. Add to your discussions.

Z1. Do you prefer no-photo halal matchmaking (Zawji-style) or biodata-with-photo (Pure Matrimony, Salams, Muzz)? Why?

Z2. If we matched on Zawji, when would you want to involve your wali in chat — week 2 or week 4? What signals readiness?

Z3. Have you used Muzz, Salams, Pure Matrimony, or similar before? What did you learn from those experiences?

Z4. How do you feel about wali-first design vs swipe-style apps? Is wali involvement central to your view of halal matchmaking, or supplementary?

Z5. What's your stance on Zawji's no-pay-per-message philosophy vs Muzz's monetization model?

Z6. Would you be comfortable with admin moderating early chats? Does that feel protective or surveillance-like to you?

Z7. How long do you expect chat → sittning to take in halal matchmaking — 4 weeks, 8 weeks, 6 months?

Z8. Do you have any concerns about my profile being incomplete or my online presence being limited?

Z9. If sittning goes well, what's your expected timeline to nikah — within 3 months, 6 months, longer?

Z10. Anything you wish was on my Zawji profile that wasn't? What did you have to ask to understand me better?

These ten reveal more than the previous hundred for couples meeting via halal matchmaking platforms.

How to use this list (the practical guide)

Don't ask all 100 in one sitting

The fastest way to make a serious person feel they're being interviewed is to drop a 100-question list on them. Use these strategically.

Spread across 3-5 conversations + sittning

• Conversation 1 (chat phase): 5-10 questions across deen, family, communication
• Conversation 2 (chat phase, after match accepted): 10-15 more across finances, children, career
• Pre-sittning conversation (wali-share moment): 10-15 around wali, extended family
• At sittning: 15-20 covering the most important categories with families present
• Post-sittning, pre-nikah: 20-30 remaining ones in deeper conversations

Five questions that should go IN WRITING

Critical commitment-level topics should be documented (text, email, or in the nikah contract):

1. Children — number + timing
2. Career — can both partners work after marriage; relocation flexibility
3. Family roles — division of household responsibilities + finances
4. Joint vs separate accounts + debt disclosure
5. Living arrangement — own home, with family, city of residence

Verbal agreement isn't enough on these. People remember conversations differently. Written documentation protects both.

5 questions that should go to her WALI, not directly to her

Some questions are awkward to ask the bride directly but appropriate to ask her wali (especially father or brother who knows her well):

W1. How does she handle stress and conflict when she's not putting her best face forward?

W2. What concerns do you have about this marriage — not "is he good enough" but "what should we both know"?

W3. Are there family or personal issues from her past that I should understand before nikah?

W4. What kind of life have you raised her to expect? What kind of husband role were you modeling?

W5. If we have serious marriage problems in the first year, what would you want our path forward to be?

These conversations build trust with the wali AND give you accurate information that the bride may either not be aware of (her stress response under load) or not comfortable disclosing directly (childhood trauma context).

How Zawji integrates the 100-questions framework

Zawji is built around the wali-first nikah flow. The 100 questions naturally fit our process:

1. Pre-match (browsing profiles) — basic dimensions visible in profile (deen, life goals, family)
2. Match + chat (Zawji platform) — first 20-30 questions covered in moderated chat (4-6 weeks typical)
3. Wali-share moment — sister shares wali's number; brother now has access to wali-level questions
4. Pre-sittning calls — 30-50 additional questions covered with wali present or aware
5. Sittning — 15-20 most critical questions, families present
6. Post-sittning pre-nikah — remaining questions + 5 written-document items

The platform doesn't ask the questions for you — but our chat structure, wali-share timing, and 6-week typical-arc make this framework executable.

Download the PDF

A 5-page printable version of all 100 questions (plus the 10 Zawji-original) is available. Use it during sittning preparation. Print and bring.

(PDF download link: contact hej@zawji.se — we'll send the latest version.)

Final thoughts

Marriage isn't a quiz. These 100 questions aren't a test you pass or fail. They're a structured way to surface alignment before nikah.

Two genuinely-compatible people will answer most questions in compatible ways naturally. The questions that surface disagreement are exactly the ones worth talking through.

The goal isn't perfect alignment. It's informed entry into nikah.

May Allah bless your conversations and your marriage.

Read next:

• Complete Wali Guide (pillar)
• How to Call Wali for the First Time
• Wali for Converts and Reverts
• Sittning Explained — family meeting before nikah (coming soon)

Sources: - Imam Mohamed Magid + Salma Elkadi Abugideiri, [Before You Tie the Knot: A Guide for Couples](https://rahmaa.org/resources/100-questions-by-imam-magid/), 2014 - Rahmaa Institute — Imam Magid's original 100 questions - Adapted for halal matchmaking platform context by Fuaad Nuur for Zawji, 2026

Authored by: Fuaad Nuur, founder of Zawji. Last updated 2026-05-27. LinkedIn · Wikidata Q139625473